Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner.
One says to the other, "jeez, i'd really like to dance with that girl."
The other man replies, "well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken s***."
So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "excuse me. would you be so kind as to dance with me?"
Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says, "i'm sorry. right now i'm contemplating on matrimony, and i'd rather sit than dance."
So the man humbly returns to his friend "so what did she say?" asks the friend.
The drunk responded, "she said she's constipated on macaroni, and would rather s*** in her pants."